The Audacity to Attempt Rationalising God’s Heart

For the past few years, I’ve noticed something about myself. I’m trying to find the pattern.

Not in an obsessive way, but in an “I’ve seen too many instances of love in my life to call it random” way. I watch my reactions when I’m tired. When I’m hurt. When my love becomes conditional on life being convenient, then I watch God… and I realise my love isn’t like His.

With posts like this one, I feel the intersection with audacity. I mean, who am I to rationalise God’s heart? But then… how dare I not, when I keep seeing traces of His pattern everywhere?

These kinds of topics give me that imposter syndrome feeling - but then again, how dare I not feel unqualified when I am trying to explain anything about God? Can you relate?

On the one side, I feel the kind of humility reminder that says, “Who am I to speak of God?” And then there is another kind that says, “Who am I not to, since I am loved by Him?”

Because if God is the source of love, then love isn’t just something we stumble upon. It has a pattern. It has a design. It has an architecture and infrastructure it flow through. Right?

Maybe it’s because of my hunger to know that I relate to God in different ways - including my intellect. Not the hunger for an inspiring quote about love, but the hunger to know why love heals some and destroys others.

Why love, when taken too far, turns into possession.
Why loyalty becomes tribalism.
Why desire becomes destruction.
Why truth becomes pride.

And why, when God gets involved, love becomes something else entirely.

So here is a phrase I’ve been working on lately: The Dynamic Fractal System of God’s heart.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Fractal? Sounds like something from maths class. And in a way, it is.

A fractal is a pattern or shape that repeats at different scales. You zoom in or out, and the pattern is still there.

Lightning looks like tree roots.
Rivers look like veins.
Lungs look like coral.

Creation likes repetition. Not because it lacks imagination, but because repetition obeys rules.

And when I say Agape is fractal, I mean this:

What is true of God at the cosmic level is intended to be reflected in your life at the individual level. Not as a metaphor. As a call.

God’s heart is not just something we admire from a distance and say, “How wonderful.” God’s heart is something we were made to participate in.

And this is where love stops being sweet and becomes architecture.

Because Agape is not just being nice.
It is self-giving love.
It is truth without fear.
It is sacrifice without resentment.

It does not wait for the timing to be right.
It does not wait for people to be easy.
It does not wait for the conditions to be met.

Agape moves first. That’s why it redefines everything.

Without Agape:
Storge becomes tribal - the familiar becomes a boundary.
Philia becomes elitist - shared truth becomes shared pride.
Eros becomes destructive - desire overtakes responsibility.

With Agape:
Storge becomes hospitality - belonging expands, not contracts.
Philia becomes humility - truth remains teachable, not superior.
Eros becomes covenant - passion becomes promise.

Agape does not supplant the other loves. Agape redeems them.

And this is what we’re going to discover for the rest of this month:

You weren’t simply made to receive Agape.
You were made to become fluent in it.

To carry it.
To embody it.
To live it in such a way that every other love in your life is reordered by it - so that love isn’t just something you feel, but something you do.

F4T – Food For Thought & Reflection

Not the end of the journey. The turning point.

Because once you see Agape as a pattern, you start recognising the counterfeit versions you’ve normalised.

·       Love that is really control.

·       Love that is really convenient.

·       Love that is really fear.

·       Love that is really ego, dressed in virtue.

And you start noticing it first… in yourself.

·       In how you react when you’re tired.

·       In how you handle conflict.

·       In how you lead.

·       In how you correct.

·       In how you forgive.

·       In how you speak to yourself when no one is listening.

The audacity is real.

And so is the moment: either keep calling it love… or let God redefine it.

One, Perfect Love.